what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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