honey bunches of taint.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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