I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
