Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
