one two three fourrrrnication!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize