just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
