When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
