Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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