Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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