would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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