he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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