Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
the day after is always just damage control
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
