My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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