She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
