put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
