can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
