I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
