i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
