I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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