just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize