yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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