my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
