I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
