She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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