UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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