i can't believe i had my finger in that
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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