On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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