when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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