so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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