Sponge bath it is.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
