This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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