he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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