You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
