can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize