I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
