watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize