I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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