drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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