im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
