Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
