We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
