He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
