Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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