sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
