It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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