You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
