So drunk its hurt
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
