Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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