Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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