I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
