we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize