What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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