David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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