Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
