FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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