just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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