And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize