you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
