Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
