i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize