All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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