if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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