garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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